Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Happy Birthday Baby Girl

This is your space. Has been your space and so I just need to talk to you today.

Happy Birthday Hannah.

I was sad last night going to bed. I was sad when I woke up this morning. I'm sad right now. I hope you are happy in Heaven. I hope you really are dancing and playing like everyone says you are. I hope that is real and true. I hope.

I really wish I could look in your eyes and tell you how much I love you. They are the only part of you I've never seen. I remember so much about this day 2 years ago, but I forget so much, too. I live with regret. I live with an unsettled feeling in my heart that if only....what if....how come.

Ahhh but then there's Ellie. Your little sister. She wouldn't be here. Did you send her? Is she like you? Oh how I would have my hands full. Oh how I wish I did.

I love you my girl. I miss you.

Happy, happy 2nd Birthday in Heaven.
 

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