Thursday, August 4, 2011

I don't post here much anymore. Not because Hannah is not on my mind---she always is. She always will be on my mind and thoughts, in my heart, right here with me.

It is different now.

I do have things to say. I do have feelings that sit on my chest like a heavy weight and cause my eyes to sting with tears. But it's different now. Where as before I was living IN my grief, really just surviving, now I'm living WITH it. It is a part of my life. It is a part of who I am. It is a part of how I interact with my living children.

Here I mostly tried to focus on Hannah and how I was feeling. Having Eliana here now has caused things to resurface and also to heal. I've not really shared much of these things because I don't want to cause heartache for someone new on their grief journey by talking about my rainbow. Or even by talking about Bobby too much, Hannah's big brother.

So I've made a decision. I'm going to have this blog printed. I'm not going to blog here anymore, but at my new blog, Broken Yet Whole. I need to blog about all 5 of us. Together. Robert, Katy (me), Bobby, Hannah and Ellie.

I thank all of you for your support, love and friendship and would be honored if you'd continue to follow me there, but if not, I understand.

7 comments:

  1. I am so glad you posted this. This is how I feel about my Eden. I liked how you said you are not living in grief, but with it. It's such a good way to explain how I feel now that Levi is here. Everything IS different and him being here has helped me heal.
    I will definitly be following your new blog.

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  2. I'll be following you. :) I share your feelings about healing but also hurting in new ways now that the little one is here. This blog was one of the first I found as I searched for stories and support, and from here, found many other 'friends.'

    I always think of Hannah when I see ladybugs. :)

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  3. Such a beautiful idea to have your blog printed into a book. This is such a significant chapter in our lives ... a chapter that has and will continue to have a strong influence on the rest of our story.

    I will hope over and check out Broken Yet Whole ... I think its a great name!

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  4. So.GET.it. I love you, sweet friend!!!! xoxoxoxo

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  5. I get it too. I don't blog as much either but my babies are never far from my heart and mind. Big hugs!!!

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