Thursday, August 4, 2011

I don't post here much anymore. Not because Hannah is not on my mind---she always is. She always will be on my mind and thoughts, in my heart, right here with me.

It is different now.

I do have things to say. I do have feelings that sit on my chest like a heavy weight and cause my eyes to sting with tears. But it's different now. Where as before I was living IN my grief, really just surviving, now I'm living WITH it. It is a part of my life. It is a part of who I am. It is a part of how I interact with my living children.

Here I mostly tried to focus on Hannah and how I was feeling. Having Eliana here now has caused things to resurface and also to heal. I've not really shared much of these things because I don't want to cause heartache for someone new on their grief journey by talking about my rainbow. Or even by talking about Bobby too much, Hannah's big brother.

So I've made a decision. I'm going to have this blog printed. I'm not going to blog here anymore, but at my new blog, Broken Yet Whole. I need to blog about all 5 of us. Together. Robert, Katy (me), Bobby, Hannah and Ellie.

I thank all of you for your support, love and friendship and would be honored if you'd continue to follow me there, but if not, I understand.

12 comments:

  1. I am so glad you posted this. This is how I feel about my Eden. I liked how you said you are not living in grief, but with it. It's such a good way to explain how I feel now that Levi is here. Everything IS different and him being here has helped me heal.
    I will definitly be following your new blog.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'll be following you. :) I share your feelings about healing but also hurting in new ways now that the little one is here. This blog was one of the first I found as I searched for stories and support, and from here, found many other 'friends.'

    I always think of Hannah when I see ladybugs. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Such a beautiful idea to have your blog printed into a book. This is such a significant chapter in our lives ... a chapter that has and will continue to have a strong influence on the rest of our story.

    I will hope over and check out Broken Yet Whole ... I think its a great name!

    ReplyDelete
  4. So.GET.it. I love you, sweet friend!!!! xoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  5. I get it too. I don't blog as much either but my babies are never far from my heart and mind. Big hugs!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Getting citizens management can help your company grow quickly and with efficiency.

    ReplyDelete
  7. online marketing Can be hard to figure out. Work with a company that has experience and knowledge.

    ReplyDelete
  8. When I sold my BMW I was really nervous about finding good motorcycle movers. No need to worry! These guys are the best.

    ReplyDelete
  9. If your interested in a recycled rubber playground then you should use this company they’re great.

    ReplyDelete
  10. If you live in the socal area you should consider getting help for cocaine treatment with care and compassion.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thanks for the helpful info. When I learned about getting a alcohol intervention it changed my life.

    ReplyDelete
  12. If you’re looking for travel san francisco then make sure you work with people you can trust.

    ReplyDelete