I don't know what it is about today, but I am sad. Not angry, bitter, envious, resentful.....sad. Maybe it's the three plus days of rain. Maybe it's just that my heart is swollen again with grief. I don't know. I just know I feel this melancholy blanket hanging over me. I feel the tears welling up. I see them blinding my sight and joining the rain.
I think right now I have just lost sight of that hope. It is patiently sitting on the other side of the giant obstacles I see before me. They are overwhelming and crushing.
I wonder what you are doing, sweet girl. I wonder who you are. I wonder why right at this moment I can't be cradling you in my arms. Bobby is sleeping. I see his chest rising and falling. I hear his breath. God what I would give to watch you sleeping. To see your chest rise and fall. To hear your breath. I love you. I love you so much.
I wonder sometimes why it has to be so hard. Please. Take this weight. Clear this path a little for me. I feel like I am drowning.