I don't know what it is about today, but I am sad. Not angry, bitter, envious, resentful.....sad. Maybe it's the three plus days of rain. Maybe it's just that my heart is swollen again with grief. I don't know. I just know I feel this melancholy blanket hanging over me. I feel the tears welling up. I see them blinding my sight and joining the rain.
I think right now I have just lost sight of that hope. It is patiently sitting on the other side of the giant obstacles I see before me. They are overwhelming and crushing.
I wonder what you are doing, sweet girl. I wonder who you are. I wonder why right at this moment I can't be cradling you in my arms. Bobby is sleeping. I see his chest rising and falling. I hear his breath. God what I would give to watch you sleeping. To see your chest rise and fall. To hear your breath. I love you. I love you so much.
I wonder sometimes why it has to be so hard. Please. Take this weight. Clear this path a little for me. I feel like I am drowning.
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XOXO
ReplyDeleteSending you a big hug today. I hope your day gets better. God bless you!
ReplyDelete(((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteKaty, I am going to pray that God gives you the strength to walk on water. I am thinking of you. *huge hugs*
ReplyDeleteI love you.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your hurting so badly. Thinking of you, Katy.
ReplyDeletexoxo
I am right there with you today...feeling sad too...sad for myself, sad for you, sad for all us mommies. Big hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you are feeling so sad today. Please know I'm thinking of you and wishing you better days. XO
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for your sadness too! I feel testy today with a side of sadness. Maybe it's just one of those days! Praying for some peace for you!
ReplyDeleteOh Katy...I SO wish I had something as uplifting and heart-warming as the things you so kindly send to me--and I just don't. I just want you to know that I am going to cry out to God tonight for so many who are hurting and sharing--I'm seeing it all over the place--and I am literally going to picture me taking you right to His throne. Many, many, many hugs, sweet friend!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could take the pain away today. This grief feels neverending sometimes....
ReplyDeleteKaty - I was so depressed from the gloom outside too....thankfully today and for lots of days ahead we have some sunshine and warmth - make sure you go outside lots and feel that sunshine on your face ok?! Sending love and hugs cccooo Nan
ReplyDeleteI hope you are feeling better today. Sending smiles and hugs and letting you know you have an award on my page. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you Katy. It is very difficult to understand why our little girls aren't right here in our arms. Remembering your beloved daughter, Hannah, and I hope that tomorrow is more gentle for you. xo
ReplyDeleteI have had those days where I just feel sad and nothing else. Sad that she can't be here with me. Always missed!
ReplyDelete