Wow. You guys are asking some pretty tough (but interesting) questions! I am going to tackle the first six in this post!
Heather asked, "What is your fondest memory of your pregnancy with Hannah?"
This is a difficult question for me to answer. There are so many moments I sat there in absolute awe and joy of this precious soul. If I had to pick, I would choose her last ultrasound. Bobby waved to her and she was just dancing all over the place. That is the only "interaction" I have ever seen take place between my children and it was so sweet.
Andrea asked, "If you had to describe your spiritual walk with God in terms of ICE CREAM, what "flavor" would it be and why?"
Rocky Road? Again another tough one! I would say Rocky Road, though, because I am a sinner. I have clung to Him and run from Him. Hannah has given me a wonderful gift in the relationship I now have with the Father and I am hoping that the flavor selection changes to something more magnificent! He has always remained faithful to me despite all of my faults and insecurities and I praise Him for this everyday.
Jennifer asked, "What is one bible verse that has stood out to you during the last nine months?"
I like this question, and there are actually 2 verses I would pick.
Job 13:15a---"Though he slay me, yet I will hope in him."
I felt God had slayed me. I felt He had cut me at the knees and allowed me to completely crumble, yet He is what I did and continue to hope in. Because of His promises and His son, I know I will see Hannah again for Eternity and that is where my hope will lie. The second verse is
2 Corinthians 1:3-7---(The God of All Comfort) 3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
I have tried to offer comfort to others in my own healing. I think this community is an excellent example of this passing of God's love and comfort to eachother.
Melissa asked, "How did you decide on Hannah's name?"
I just liked it! If Bobby had been a girl instead of a boy, he would have been Hannah Katherine! I just think it is so beautiful. Her middle name was my Grandma's name.
The Blue Sparrow (Jennifer) asked, "What differences in yourself and your husband to you see now after loosing Hannah that weren't there before? Anything different in your personalities or daily life?"
I could probably spend an hour answering this question. I think I am barely recognizable from the person I was before. My faith is the main thing that has changed and has grown so much. My complete dependancy upon God. I used to care so much that the house was spic and apan and everything had a place---not so important anymore. I am definately changed. My husband is more reserved with how he is feeling, though I know it hurts him very deeply. I think we are both much more appreciative of what we do have. My daily life has taken on new routines, definately. I light Hannah's candle every night. I host this Bible Study on Pregnancy and Infant Loss now. I blog. I craft for other mommies. The list could go on and on.
Kat asked, "What about: how has your son handled the past nine months?"
Bobby was only 18 months old when we lost Hannah so I don't think that he has really had to "handle" that much. He has seen me cry many, many times. He began to actually comfort me---to rub my back and say, "Don't cry, Mommy. It's okay." He knows his sister's name and that she is in Heaven. He blows kisses to her curio cabinet filled with all her things and to her picture on the mantle. I want to say I am thankful that he doesn't truly understand or understand the grief, but that one day when he is older I will tell him the whole story of his sister in Heaven.
Thank you guys for all the great questions! I hope I have answered them well! The next post will be 99 and I'll finish them up and then on post 100 I'll give something away!