Friday, February 18, 2011

February 18, 2011

Dear Hannah,

It's so hard to believe one year ago today you were due. I wonder who you'd be today. I wonder who you'd look like, would you be taking your first steps. I wonder so many things.

We celebrated Jack's first birthday last week. He really is an adorable little boy. When I first saw him and saw him walking around it brought such a sadness to my heart. I was so proud of him and so devastated for you all in a single moment. I'm sure you're dancing in Heaven. I'm sure of that. But it doesn't mean that I wouldn't have loved to have seen it here first myself. How I love you little girl. How I ache for you. How it just consumes me sometimes. How that guilt finds me. I'm so sorry, Hannah. I'm so sorry I let you down. And it's so hard to wonder and imagine now that your little sister is here because when I do, I have to picture that dream without one of you in it. I just can't do that. I just have to accept how it is and know that someday it WILL be all of us together.

But to me, this will always be your special day. Bobby drew you some pictures and we're going to send you some balloons. I love you baby girl, always.

Love,
Mommy

14 comments:

  1. Sending you big hugs Katy on Hannah's special day. I'll be thinking of you today.

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  2. Thinking of you Katy, sending big hugs. I love the thought that she is dancing in Heaven ♥

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  3. Sweet friend, You DID NOT let Hannah down! What more could she possibly ask for than what she has now? She is perfect, whole, happy, and dancing away in Heaven. Sending lots of love and hugs your way! Praying for you today!

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  4. Sending hugs upward and to you sweet mama!
    ♥Hannah♥

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  5. Sending you big ((HUGS)) and thinking of Hannah with you.

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  6. Aww Katy..what a beautiful letter to your beautiful daughter. You are so right that we have to accept that we will all be together in Heaven one day even if we can't all be together here on Earth. Sending you many hugs and a lot of love today..

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  7. Love you and Hannah too. (from Kristie)

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  8. Thinking of you & remembering Hannah with you! (((HUGS)))

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  9. Katy ~ your letter to Hannah is so full of love. You are amazing. Hannah is amazing... she has touched me deeply. Thinking of you.

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  10. Katy,my heart hurts for you. Sending love & prayers, and remembering Hannah.

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  11. Thinking of you Katy...sending lots of love and prayers your way.
    ♥Hannah♥

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  12. I've seen a few ladybugs about recently. :) Hannah is in my thoughts and so are you! Love you! XOXO

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