I haven't mentioned this before. My brother's wife and I were five days apart in our pregnancies. So now she is pregnant and I am not. I haven't seen her. I'm actually dreading it. But it's not her fault. It is nobody's fault what happened to Hannah. It just really hurts. But my point in mentioning this was actually to say they are having a boy. I am very thankful the baby is a boy. He will always be a reminder to me of what I am missing with Hannah, but if he were a girl I think it would be harder.
I don't understand why this happened. It seems like the past few days I have kind of coasted past my emotions, keeping myself and my mind busy with other things. But now I am wallowing in this sorrow, trying not to let it consume me. It always does.