Monday, April 5, 2010

In bloom

Hannah's tree bloomed today. Perfect little pink flowers.

It made me happy.

It made me sad.

All I have to watch bloom. All I have to watch grow, is a tree.

I have been busy in my life and in my mind. It's kept me from swimming in my sorrow. Most days I just wade on the shore. I wonder if she is watching me beyond that horizon.

I know if I'd never been placed on this particular shore, I wouldn't have found some of the beautiful things I have. Still I can't help but wonder.

I guess I'll just have to watch the beautiful blooms of the weeping cherry and imagine her warmth is what makes it grow.
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19 comments:

  1. belleApril 5, 2010 at 8:41 PM

    it must be beautiful (hugs) i hope you post some pictures when you get a chance.

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  2. TinaApril 5, 2010 at 9:08 PM

    I like that..."imagine her warmth is what makes it grow." Thinking of you. xx

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  3. JillApril 5, 2010 at 9:15 PM

    I saw buds this past weekend on my babies tree and their garden at our house is starting to bloom. I had the same thoughts, it made me happy and it made me sad. It is a beautiful thought to think Hannah's warmth is helping the tree to grow. xo

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  4. Nan & MikeApril 5, 2010 at 10:08 PM

    I hope when you see it in full bloom that all of the sadness goes away. Its such a soft and sweet smelling tree, just gorgeous. I stare at mine numerous times in the day and think about how beautiful my girls are and try to feel their presence surround me. I know its hard to not think that that is all you have to watch grow, Im sorry :( Take lots of pics...praying for you xxxooo Love, Nan

    PS..you have an award on my blog :)

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  5. DeniApril 5, 2010 at 11:08 PM

    Sending you love Katy!!

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  6. Sarita BoyetteApril 6, 2010 at 1:22 AM

    Katy, the tree must be beautiful,like Hannah.
    I was thinking about your journey(and mine, and that of so many others),and I was reminded of an old gospel song that said something about when we trade our old cross for a crown.Someday we will trade these crosses in and be with Jesus and our babies. But for right now, we know that He cares for us and loves us so much and is watching our precious ones.Hugs....

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  7. LisetteApril 6, 2010 at 2:14 AM

    ((HUGS))

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  8. crystal theresaApril 6, 2010 at 4:11 AM

    ((hugs)). i can understand the mix of sadness and happiness at seeing Hannah's tree in bloom. it's a heartbreaking-ly beautiful reminder of your baby girl.

    thinking of you.

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  9. AnonymousApril 6, 2010 at 9:46 AM

    Katy,

    love and hugs to you today. My heart and prayers are with you. I remember Hannah with you everyday. Hugs friend. C

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  10. AnonymousApril 6, 2010 at 11:00 AM

    *huge hugs* Watching these flowers we planted in our babies memory is so bittersweet. Thinking of you and Hannah.

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  11. AmandaApril 6, 2010 at 12:23 PM

    Katy,
    Lots of hugs to you...We are just beginning to think about all of the trees that will be planted in Aubree's memory..my whole yard will be a reminder of her..our first tree arrives on Friday to be planted. I am sure your tree is beautiful..I don't know if a weeping cherry is like our snow fountain cherry was, but it was so beautiful while it bloomed, but as soon as the wind blew the flowers were gone..so much like our babies..they were only with us for such a short period of time, but they made such an impact on us while they were here on Earth..

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  12. LoriApril 6, 2010 at 1:28 PM

    Wow...we just planted a weeping cherry for Matthew this weekend for Easter. It's already bloomed, but beautiful (in such a bittersweet way) still. So glad that Hannah's, though sad, also brings you joy.
    Much love to you, dear friend!

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  13. AnonymousApril 6, 2010 at 1:36 PM

    How wonderful to see life coming to her tree!

    I left a little gift for you on my blog. www.missingjuanito.blogspot.com

    Sorry it is a little late, but I was having camera issues.

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  14. AndreaApril 6, 2010 at 2:53 PM

    Sometimes I can't help but wonder too...

    Sending you hugs, dear friend. :) XOXO

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  15. MaggieApril 6, 2010 at 8:56 PM

    (((HUGS)))! It's sad and comforting to see things we've planted or done in memory of our babies and to watch them grow. I'm sure Hannah's tree is just beautiful.

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  16. Hannah RoseApril 7, 2010 at 10:15 PM

    You write so beautifully...

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  17. HollyApril 8, 2010 at 4:30 PM

    We have a weeping cherry too that has bloomed (although I am still mad that my hubby chopped it all up in the fall so it doesn't have nearly as many blooms as it should).

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  18. Gottjoy!April 8, 2010 at 9:16 PM

    This is a beautiful post...I love that admongst your sorrow you wrote that you wonder if it is her warmth that makes it grow...poetic and sweet.

    Hugs...

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  19. Catherine WApril 11, 2010 at 6:12 PM

    'I guess I'll just have to watch the beautiful blooms of the weeping cherry and imagine her warmth is what makes it grow'.

    How beautiful. I'm sure that your Hannah is there with you, somehow. x

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