Today was one of those days.
I was peaceful to a certain extent, but that bitterness was all along my edges like an old piece of paper falling apart. Does that even make sense? Well, today was one of those days.
I locked that door to keep out the why me's and what if's. I guess they can still come knocking. At least I don't have to answer. At least we are separated by a piece of wood and a peephole. Problem is I can still hear them.
I wonder what she's doing right now. How I wish I could hold her. How I wish for just one moment where our eyes connect and I tell her how very much I love her. How I wish so many things that will never be.
Not here.
Today was just one of those days.
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I feel the same way
ReplyDelete(((((hugs))))))
ReplyDeleteI have these days too...xx
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear it was a tough day for you.
ReplyDeleteYou and I are so the same. I am trying harder and harder to silence those voices inside my head...the "I wish it would have turned out differently", the "what would the baby be doing right now if he were here, would he be sleeping in his basinet?"
ReplyDeleteIts hard. So very hard...
Prayers are with you always, you have been a great support to me.
Those days are the worst and seem to come so often. Thinking of you! (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteThe distance between the head and the heart...it's so hard. Thinking of you, Katy.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you had a rough day. My heart hurts for you. I'll pray god gives you strength to back up a bit further from that door. I pray he calms your heart tonight and sings soft songs in your heart to help you. I pray he can sing over those hurts and make his the only voice you hear tonight. Love you friend, Crystal
ReplyDelete(((Hugs Katy)))
ReplyDeleteknow what??? :) i love you too! this mommy-blogger- connection thing has been my lifeline!
ReplyDeletei wish we could all meet in person and cry together (((hugs)))
thanks for your comment on my blog, you made me smile :) my edges are ruffled today too... the noise behind the peephole is just too loud some days!
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ReplyDeleteI hate when these days do a sneak attack, they seem the worst.
ReplyDelete((hugs))
(((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteThese days come when you least expect them *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry Katy...as you know I have been feeling the same way lately. I even made the comment tonight that I can't stand living babies..that is a terrible thing to say, and it is so not true, but my mind just thinks that way sometimes these days..I am also just missing Aubree..always missing her. Please know that I am always praying for you and thinking about you. Sending lots of hugs..Must just be a bad day all around..
ReplyDeleteKaty, I hope you are doing better. I am thinking of you always. I want to give you a giant hug, we need to set a date and I know I am slacking. let me know what might work for you before the end of this month. Hugs and love, nan xxxooo
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss!! The pain of loosing a child is the worst. What a crappy club we all have to be in! Thinking of you and sending hugs
ReplyDelete