I haven't had that much to say. I am here.
I was looking at Bobby's baby picture this morning. What a beautiful baby he was, and now a handsome little man. Makes my heart twinge with hurt, with sadness, at the things I'll miss.
I visited the Children's Memorial Garden the other day. The flowers are starting to bloom and Bobby picked one for his sister. Makes my heart twinge with hurt, with sadness, at the things he will miss.
I think about all the walks Bobby and I have taken around this neighborhood, watching him sleep, not believing he was mine. I will never take a walk with Hannah around this neighborhood. She is not here, and sometimes it is hard to believe she ever was mine. Makes my heart twinge with hurt, with sadness, at the things she will miss.
It is not a raw pain that follows me around each day. It is a melancholy veil that sits atop my life. Sometimes the wind blows it high enough to see from underneath and sometimes it just drapes over your soul.
I love you, beautiful girl.