I haven't had that much to say. I am here.
I was looking at Bobby's baby picture this morning. What a beautiful baby he was, and now a handsome little man. Makes my heart twinge with hurt, with sadness, at the things I'll miss.
I visited the Children's Memorial Garden the other day. The flowers are starting to bloom and Bobby picked one for his sister. Makes my heart twinge with hurt, with sadness, at the things he will miss.
I think about all the walks Bobby and I have taken around this neighborhood, watching him sleep, not believing he was mine. I will never take a walk with Hannah around this neighborhood. She is not here, and sometimes it is hard to believe she ever was mine. Makes my heart twinge with hurt, with sadness, at the things she will miss.
It is not a raw pain that follows me around each day. It is a melancholy veil that sits atop my life. Sometimes the wind blows it high enough to see from underneath and sometimes it just drapes over your soul.
I love you, beautiful girl.
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Katy, this is beautiful! Iam not sure if you meant it to be a poem, but this CAN be one for all mothers with babies on earth and in heaven...I really "felt" your pain and sadness for the what ifs....your children are very lucky to have such a loving mommy...RIP Hannah :(
ReplyDeleteI couldn't have described it better ~ a veil is a perfect analogy.
ReplyDeleteCyber {{{hugs}}} being sent your way.
Beautiful post Katy, and so true it is a veil over everything! Sending you love and hugs sweet friend!
ReplyDeleteA veil is so true. *huge hugs*
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your pain but so true!! Its hard to grasp some days!! Sending hugs!
ReplyDeleteI think the veil is very appropriate also! You put it so beautifully! xxx
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Katy,
ReplyDeleteSending you hugs and love and thinking of your beautiful hannah with you. I'm sure though she isn't with you physically her sweet spirit is always with you wherever you go.
Katy, I love the veil analogy. It is how I feel a lot of times but never was able to put the words to my feelings. You are very gifted and poetic.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you...
My heart is aching for you...I'm so, so sorry you are missing her terribly this second.
ReplyDeleteI've told John it's like a down comforter, sometimes it's light and fluffy and I feel like I can make it through but when it comes out of the wash and it is wet and heavy, it's horrible and crushes my chest.
Your veil is MUCH more eloquent and so on target.
Lifting you and up and wishing so much you had your sweet Hannah....
That is so true. XO
ReplyDeleteHeartbreaking and true, I get it honey, we all do. Hugs and love, Nan xxx
ReplyDeleteKaty, I totally get this...and feel the exact same way. Love you, and always thinking of you! XOXO
ReplyDeleteMelancholy veil. Yep. Hurting with you, friend, and missing these babies.
ReplyDeleteBoy do I know that feeling of a melancholy veil. You put it beautifully Katy! *HUGS*
ReplyDeleteWow Katy..you described that feeling perfectly..what a good analogy. I always look at it as a dark cloud that hovers over my head wherever I go, but every so often the sunshine is able to peek through...lots of love to you and to our girls playing in Heaven..
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. I think that the same melancholy veil covers me over from time to time. Remembering your perfect Hannah xo
ReplyDelete