Last night I went to a free concert in Ocean Grove with my mom, dad and little Bobby. It was Tenth Avenue North. Before I lost Hannah I had never even heard of them, but then I heard this song. It just spoke to me so deeply. When they sang it last night, my eyes filled with tears and I struggled to fight them back. I looked at my mom and told her how much it reminds me of Hannah, of that very dark place where I felt so alone and so full of questions. Sometimes I even find myself back there these days, when I look at her picture too long or realize that the butterfly lamp I lit that day is still burning. Who would think a bulb would last so long? I realize all these rituals I perform for her on a daily basis and I guess I just have to accept that that is her part of my routine. It doesn't include bottles and diapers, it includes lighting her candle and kissing her urn.
I love you, little girl.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
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I feel the same way.....
ReplyDeleteWow---jealous that you got to go see them and for free!!!! That song has been such a staple since Matthew died. It always takes my breath away when I hear it. Literally, today, not 3 hours ago, I heard it and it still took my breath. SO much of what is often in my heart.
ReplyDeleteLots of love!
I saw them perform with Mercy Me about a month ago, they are amazing! I love this song too! *HUGS*
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful song. I can see how it spoke to you, especially when you were still fresh with hurt and searching for God's love to lift you up. Love you! XOXO
ReplyDeleteLove that song...a friend sent me a link to their new single about healing...so beautiful.
ReplyDeleteJealous that you got to see them=). They are one of my favorites besides Selah.
Beautiful! Tears with you. Hope you are feeling good honey. Hugs, Nan xxx
ReplyDeleteI really like Tenth Ave North. And that song is one I like.
ReplyDelete