First of all, I just want to thank everyone for all the love and support. I wish I had more time to write this morning, but unfortunately I don't. Yesterday was a nice, peaceful day, however, and I appreciate you all so much. I'll be posting within the next couple of days some pictures from our day.
But without further delay, the winner is Lauren! I'm giving away a custom wooden memory box. I've also chosen 4 runner ups to receive a special prize! They are: Patty, Our Journey, Melanie and Elainna. Congrats, girls! Please just send me an email with your full name/address and I'll get these out right away! My email is klarsen17@yahoo.com.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Happy Birthday, Hannah---and a present for one of you
Today is Hannah's First Birthday in Heaven. My husband took off today and we have a few things planned to do as a family followed by dinner with my parents tonight.
Today is hard already. Picturing that sweet little girl tht never got a chance. Knowing all that we, that she, will miss out on. Trying to remember she has so much more than any of that now.
A lot of my family has seemed to have forgotten her. It makes me sad. If she were here, they'd be fighting to hold her. She's not here and they don't even speak her name. Besides my parents, two aunts and a few other people, really my family support is non-existent. I'll put that aside and just hope that in their hearts she is thought of from time to time.
The support from other BLM's is amazing. Thank you to each and every one of you who posted on my FB wall or sent me an email. Thank you to my sweet friend Andrea as I know she is honoring Hannah with me. Thank you to Kristie and all the ABH girls. Thank you to Antoinette for making Hannah's Birthday an event. The list goes on when it comes to the support I receive from these women who didn't even know me this day last year that Hannah was born. You have no idea how much it means, and so, I'd like to share Hannah's Birthday present with you and have a giveaway. To enter just leave me a comment on how my daughter has affected your life in some way. I'll announce the winner(s) and the prize(s) in the morning.
Today is hard already. Picturing that sweet little girl tht never got a chance. Knowing all that we, that she, will miss out on. Trying to remember she has so much more than any of that now.
A lot of my family has seemed to have forgotten her. It makes me sad. If she were here, they'd be fighting to hold her. She's not here and they don't even speak her name. Besides my parents, two aunts and a few other people, really my family support is non-existent. I'll put that aside and just hope that in their hearts she is thought of from time to time.
The support from other BLM's is amazing. Thank you to each and every one of you who posted on my FB wall or sent me an email. Thank you to my sweet friend Andrea as I know she is honoring Hannah with me. Thank you to Kristie and all the ABH girls. Thank you to Antoinette for making Hannah's Birthday an event. The list goes on when it comes to the support I receive from these women who didn't even know me this day last year that Hannah was born. You have no idea how much it means, and so, I'd like to share Hannah's Birthday present with you and have a giveaway. To enter just leave me a comment on how my daughter has affected your life in some way. I'll announce the winner(s) and the prize(s) in the morning.
Friday, September 3, 2010
September
I can't believe it is September already. It brings on a whole new set of emotions, really. In just a few weeks, I will be staring Hannah's first birthday in the face. I have been thining about these days so much. About how it all began. About how it all ended---and began again, in a different way.
I am looking forward to the Share Memorial Walk. We walked last year in October on my 31st birthday. This year the walk falls 4 days after Hannah's 1st birthday. I am glad my husband and I are able to be involved in some way, too. It helps to be able to do something. We are donating the water and my husband will DJ the ceremony in the beginning before the walk begins.
Really, this is so frustrating. I have so much to say and just no words to use to describe it. Writers block of my emotions.
How I love you sweet girl. How I miss you.
I am looking forward to the Share Memorial Walk. We walked last year in October on my 31st birthday. This year the walk falls 4 days after Hannah's 1st birthday. I am glad my husband and I are able to be involved in some way, too. It helps to be able to do something. We are donating the water and my husband will DJ the ceremony in the beginning before the walk begins.
Really, this is so frustrating. I have so much to say and just no words to use to describe it. Writers block of my emotions.
How I love you sweet girl. How I miss you.
Friday, August 20, 2010
My World
I know I've been quiet. I have been sort of spun into a world where joy and sorrow now co-exist. Beautifully. I am thankful for that. I am thankful for the grace of God each day. I have hope. I have things to look forward to. I am not moving on, I am marching ahead---not farther from Hannah, but closer to her for Eternity.
There is still a hole in my heart. She filled that space the instant I knew she even existed and when she left, she took that with her. But I know where that treasure lies. I know for certain.
What a path it has been. Saturday marks 11 months. I can't believe it. Next month, her birthday. Her first Birthday in Heaven. And the path continues. I journey through new emotions. I journey through old ones, too.
I am richly blessed by wonderful friendships. I am so richly blessed, in ways I would not be had she not gone. I try not to think on that alternate universe where things played out as expected. Where she lived. How it would be now. How I would be complete---yet empty. Losing her has filled me, yet left me incomplete. Again, the co-mingling of joy and sorrow.
Hannah
a face I remember
when I close my eyes
dream dreams of
Heaven
a face I remember
full of beauty and grace
drove me to my knees
Hannah
a face I wish I
could gaze into her eyes
seeing hope and a
sparkle of
Heaven
I love you sweet girl.
There is still a hole in my heart. She filled that space the instant I knew she even existed and when she left, she took that with her. But I know where that treasure lies. I know for certain.
What a path it has been. Saturday marks 11 months. I can't believe it. Next month, her birthday. Her first Birthday in Heaven. And the path continues. I journey through new emotions. I journey through old ones, too.
I am richly blessed by wonderful friendships. I am so richly blessed, in ways I would not be had she not gone. I try not to think on that alternate universe where things played out as expected. Where she lived. How it would be now. How I would be complete---yet empty. Losing her has filled me, yet left me incomplete. Again, the co-mingling of joy and sorrow.
Hannah
a face I remember
when I close my eyes
dream dreams of
Heaven
a face I remember
full of beauty and grace
drove me to my knees
Hannah
a face I wish I
could gaze into her eyes
seeing hope and a
sparkle of
Heaven
I love you sweet girl.
Friday, July 30, 2010
A Pray Date Giveaway
Today is a tough day for me and being I hit 200 posts on my Pray Date blog, I decided to host a giveaway, to help me through this day and perhaps, to help you along your grief journey. You don't need to be a follower to enter, though if you'd like to, I'd love to have you. To enter, click here.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
10 Months and a Birthday
Yesterday marked 10 months since Hannah Katherine left us. 10 months. It's hard to believe how fast, yet how slow, the time goes all at once. Yesterday was also my best friend's birthday. She would have been 31, had she not died suddenly 9 years ago tomorrow.
You never know where life will lead you. So many times in my life I have felt like I've been on a "sure" path---the "right" path---when suddenly, the unexpected happens and throws you all off course. It was never anything so devastating as losing my daughter until 10 months ago. That was life changing, not just "path" altering. Life changing. So many times I have sat here and wondered why and searched my heart and mind with questions, finding no answers. I know someday in Heaven I will know, and my reward will be great. To feel her in my arms again. To kiss her beautiful face. To see the sunlight in her hair. To tell her I love her.
10 months. Happy 10 months, Hannah. And Happy Birthday, Erica.
You never know where life will lead you. So many times in my life I have felt like I've been on a "sure" path---the "right" path---when suddenly, the unexpected happens and throws you all off course. It was never anything so devastating as losing my daughter until 10 months ago. That was life changing, not just "path" altering. Life changing. So many times I have sat here and wondered why and searched my heart and mind with questions, finding no answers. I know someday in Heaven I will know, and my reward will be great. To feel her in my arms again. To kiss her beautiful face. To see the sunlight in her hair. To tell her I love her.
10 months. Happy 10 months, Hannah. And Happy Birthday, Erica.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Dear Hannah
Dear Hannah,
My beautiful daughter. How bittersweet life is these days. These months seem so much to parallel those of last summer. Except you are not here. Except I am not the same person I was last summer. You are going to have a little sisiter. I am hopeful for her. I am longing for you. I wish with all my heart that you could both be. That I could have you both.
I haven't written in a while from my heart. I've posted facts or information, or passed on prayer requests, but I've kept from digging too deeply into my heart. Afraid of what I would find. I layed in bed this morning listening for Bobby to awake. I was thinking of you and holding you in my hands. How little you were. How perfect. But my mind always drifts away from these moments to the terrible things that happened in that room. I shut it down. I opened my Bible. I found a beautiful passage in Lamentations. I have come to accept this life. I have come to accept that you are gone. I still just miss you so much. I still just wish it could be different, but now I feel so torn.
I just want you to know I love you. Just because I am quiet does not mean you still do not spend every day on my mind and in my heart. You do. You always will. You are my beautiful daughter.
My beautiful daughter. How bittersweet life is these days. These months seem so much to parallel those of last summer. Except you are not here. Except I am not the same person I was last summer. You are going to have a little sisiter. I am hopeful for her. I am longing for you. I wish with all my heart that you could both be. That I could have you both.
I haven't written in a while from my heart. I've posted facts or information, or passed on prayer requests, but I've kept from digging too deeply into my heart. Afraid of what I would find. I layed in bed this morning listening for Bobby to awake. I was thinking of you and holding you in my hands. How little you were. How perfect. But my mind always drifts away from these moments to the terrible things that happened in that room. I shut it down. I opened my Bible. I found a beautiful passage in Lamentations. I have come to accept this life. I have come to accept that you are gone. I still just miss you so much. I still just wish it could be different, but now I feel so torn.
I just want you to know I love you. Just because I am quiet does not mean you still do not spend every day on my mind and in my heart. You do. You always will. You are my beautiful daughter.
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