Last night in my grief Bible study group we were talking about the place our babies hold in our families. I have been thinking about this a lot since then.
Hannah's place will always be as my daughter. But if your daughter is not here, how do people know she is your daughter? I know she is my daughter. If she is not the first thought on my mind, she is the second. That is the farthest she travels. In my heart and soul I feel her all around me. Her presense, her spirit still lives in me. I know she is with me. You just can't see her. So how do you know about my daughter?
I want Hannah's tangible existence to be in the works I do. I want her soul to shine through the things I create in her honor. I want other people to feel her spirit, her presense which I pour out into my work. That is her place. Her place as my daughter. She has made me a much, much better person than I had ever dreamed. She has shown me a sorrowful, desperate, despaired side of life where I have met the most wonderful, faithful and compassionate people. And she has made me one of them.
Thank you, Hannah. Mommy loves you and misses you so very, very much.