Sunday, December 20, 2009

This Christmas

"Though he slay me, yet will I trust in Him." Job 13:15a

My thoughts exactly. He has brought me farther than my knees. He has thrown me on my back. I have nowhere else to look but up. And I trust.

I wrote out a Christmas card for my grandma the other day. "This Christmas is not going to be what I expected it to be, but life never is. I just have to keep my faith in the light of Jesus." I stared at what I wrote for a minute. Wow. Did I really just write that? My grandma is a very faithful woman. I have always admired that about her. I always wanted her to be proud of me. I would always write an awkward "God Bless" at the end of my letters to her. I always felt it seemed to not coincide with the rest of my letter. It lacked the meaning it was meant to portray. But this card, this message seemed to roll so smoothly off the pen and onto the paper. And it's meaning was so incredibly significant. Wow.

This Christmas will not be as I expected at all. I will not be big bellied and full of dreams. I am not that innocent anymore. But this Christmas has more meaning to me than any other ever has. I still do have dreams, just different ones. And I am full of hope and the love that only Jesus can give.


  1. This is beautiful. Keep your faith and trust. God will see you through!

  2. Beautiful, I love where you are heading after such unbelievable pain. I pray for your continued comfort through the holiday.

  3. That was beautiful-there is no doubt that your trust in God is real and alive-it is inspiring-and reading that just lifted my spirits as well. Have a wonderful and beautiful holiday with your family. Lots of love. Lorena

  4. Your thoughts are so beautiful. *hugs*