I'm one week away from the day my baby girl was due. It seems so long ago when I was welcoming this day, anticipating this day, instead of dreading it. My heart gets heavier each day as it approaches. I know it's okay. I know I'll be okay. I would just like to be past it already.
Hannah left over 4 months ago. She hasn't been here. She left that body and went home. She left me. She left a hole. A giant, gaping hole in my heart; in my family. Most of the time I run around the edge of it. Scared I'll fall in, I keep on moving, running, filling every free moment until there is almost no time left to even think. But I still do.
I wonder who she would have looked more like as she grew. I wonder what her personality would be like. I wonder if she'd be a "Daddy's Girl". I already know she is special. That is one thing I will never have to wonder. And I know I will see her again and then I won't have to wonder anymore. Someday. Someday after I live this life without her.
She is still my little girl. How I wish I could hold her. How I wish.....