Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Post #50! Leave a Comment- I'm Giving Something Away!

Wow. Post #50. I've decided to give something away. It seems appropriate, too, with my due date being next week. So leave me a comment! Let me know what animal, insect, shape.....whatever, reminds you most of your sweet baby. Ladybugs remind me of Hannah. I'll share a story I wrote with you.....

Once there was a little ladybug. A beautiful little ladybug who lived in the silver lining of the clouds in Heaven. The little ladybug living above watched all of the people here below and wondered what it would be like to live amongst them on the Earth.

She asked our dear Father in Heaven to allow her to fly down for a closer look. But more than a closer look, He gave her a monumental task below. He breathed His loving breath on her and down she flew. She flew into a womb that began to swell with love and expectation immediately. And she grew.

She grew and she grew. Hearing sweet words spoken to her daily. Lullabies sung. Sweet caresses felt. A mother's joy. A father's pride. Big brother's laughter. She thrived as she danced and swam in the temporary home the Lord had given her.

The Lord had other plans, though. He had plans much different than those of the little ladybug; than those of her mommy.

A sickness crept into her once joyous womb. A sickness. She heard crying. She heard wailing. She felt the desperation of her mother's love. She was pushed into a world she was not yet ready for.

Peacefully she flew again to her home in the clouds. Different now, whole now and perfect. No longer a little ladybug.

She watched her mommy. Mourning, weeping, living each day in quiet desperation. She watched her in her anger and her grief. She watched her as she struggled. She watched her as she cried.

She asked God why He had let her go. Why did He take her away so soon?

Mommy asked all the same questions.

In her most desperate moments, the Lord allowed the little ladybug to visit her mommy. She took a ride on a balloon sent to Heaven. She landed on Mommy's shoulder and blew her a kiss with her graceful wings as she ascended once more.

She still watches her mommy today.

She watches Mommy honor her and love her. She watches Mommy miss her and remember her each day. On the very hard days, she blows Mommy down a kiss. A sweet reminder of her everlasting presence.

She is not gone.

And she begins to see.

I am starting to understand, together they say. I am starting to understand, Dear Lord, why you have taken us away from each other.

You have brought us closer to You.

Everyday I watch Mommy pray. I watch Mommy work. I watch Mommy try to touch the lives of other people.

The little ladybug realizes the many gifts she has given to her mommy. She knows the work of the Lord is perfect. She sees as He sees now and fully understands.

She can't wait to see Mommy in heaven and tell her all these secrets. To whisper these mysteries into her empty spaces. To fill her up with reunion and love.

To never fly away again.

I'll post the winner tomorrow morning!


  1. My grandma started a collection for me that was elephants. I got elephant stuffed animals and nick-nacks until I was 18. Everyone in my family got involved...my sisters would then get me elephants, my mom, my husband...it meant so much to me that I was going to share that with my son. His nursery was going to be elephant themed. When I first found out he had a fatal diagnosis, my mother-in-law got me a stuffed elephant, and I slept with it everynight, for a very long time. And now it sits, in Gabriel's memory box, with his birthstone angel wrapped around its neck.

  2. Lilly's room was done in butterflies, and though this may seem funny everytime I see a Butter Bean anything I lose it. LOL :-) called her my "Lilly Bean" since week 8 and lost her at week 41

  3. Butterflies make me think of Emma and Chase. That is a beautiful story that you wrote! Now I will think of Hannah every time I see a ladybug.

  4. That is a beautiful story.

    As for me, bears are our animal. Sometime early in our relationship, I noticed that my husband liked bears and seemed to have a lot of bear things. So, I started to call him Bear. When I found out I was pregnant, I immediately dubbed the baby "babybear" and those names have stuck.

  5. Butterflies remind me of my sweet girl- for many reasons. I teach kindergarten and every year we raise caterpillars and watch the metamorphisis of the insects from caterpillar to butterfly. The year (acutally I believe it was the very day)I lost Tatum we went outside to release the butterflies. The kids were amazed to open up the netting and watch the butterflies fly away...all, but one, with a broken wing. I had to explain to the kids that in nature not everything makes it. Boy is that true. We also chose a butterfly marker for her at her resting place-

  6. I don't have one specific thing that really reminds me of Dylan. If I were to think of animals, though, two do come to mind. Puppies, because the last blanket that we wrapped Dylan in had puppies all over it, and it made us think of our dog Inu too. And then Tigers, because we decorated his nursery purple and gold for LSU, and he had a couple stuffed tigers that we kept in there, and my husband colored a stencil of Mike the Tiger on the back of the nursery door.

  7. What a beautiful story!! We always called baby Grace Willow our peaunut! Then at our FIRST ultrasound of course she looked exactly like a peanut. We just always called her that even when she had full arms and legs. :o) Our heavenly peanut.

  8. What a beautiful story. Makes me want to send some balloons up to heaven. You know mine.... Butterflies. This season I saw so many butterflies- mostly yellow and orange ones. Everytime I see a butterfly, I say "hi" to Ella. xoxo

  9. Very sweet. I'm not sure if a specific thing reminds me of Jonathan. However, right after he passed away, we had tons of yellow butterflies visiting our backyard. So I'll always remember that when I think back to that time.

  10. Perfect story. Ladybugs also remind me of our Nicholas. Not right away, but leading up to his Angel Day and on his Angel Day we had many, many unexpected 'run ins' with ladybugs. There were even two on his monument stone the day of (which is in November - November in Ontario, Canada is cold - you shouldn't see a ladybug.) So now, every time we see a ladybug we think of Nicholas, more than we already do.


  11. I have used butterfly stickers and stamps in my journals since we had our ultrasound that showed Jordan had no heartbeat. He was with us just a brief time, landed, and then left.

    Lately, I've also thought of a sparrow, as God loved Jordan just as much as I did, and His eye is on the sparrow.

  12. Katy,

    What a beautifully written story. Would you ever consider turning this story into a children's book? What a wonderful tool this story would be for children like sweet Bobby to learn of why/where their baby sister has gone. The illustrations would be gorgeous! Think on this one...

    I always think of Christian as my little "Fire Fly" He's my little fire fly, as his inner light is shining ever so brightly :) As a child, I always thought of fire flies as nostalgic and wondered how GOD made something so beautiful. Now I know....


  13. Okay, I am crying now....what a beautiful story! Elliot was my little monkey. He was so squirmy and constantly pulling his wires off that he earned the nickname of monkey! Also, when I was pregant I said it felt like he was swinging on vines in my belly! (Not related) But he was also our little Superman. He was such a fighter, I cannot see anything with the Superman symbol without being reminded of him!

  14. Anything to do with frog reminds me of my son L. It was the stuffed animal we bought for him the day he was born. Its remained a special little animal for us. Giraffe's are what remind of us our son E. His entire coming home outfit was a giraffe layette set. He never got to wear any of it, but that giraffe means so much to us. Both of our baby boys are buried with their stuffies, and we have the exact same ones here at home. When we look at them or hold them, we feel them.

  15. a sweet pea pod reminds me of Tristan . . . that was the theme I wanted for my baby shower. Tristan was my little sweet pea whose pod never got to open.

  16. Dragonflies always remind me of Shyla. A gift was given to me before her funeral that was a dragonfly pendant and earrings. The gift givers thought they were butterflies in her birthstone, but they were dragonflies. I thought there must be something more to that so I did some research. They are the symbol of Joy (her middle name) and change. They also have the shortest life span of any insect. They live underwater most of their lives, but then, they only live a short while after getting their wings.

    We also saw many of them just after our loss.

  17. Pink roses remind me of Meredith. When she died in 1974, I wanted pink roses to cover her casket, but flowers were not as plentiful then as they are now, so we had to get pink carnations.I wrote a story about her entitled "One Perfect Rose", and that is what she is to me. Perfection,that budded here and bloomed to her full glory in Heaven with Jesus.The ladybug story is so precious, a sweet story for your darling baby.
    Blessings, Sarita Boyette

  18. What a beautiful story!!!

  19. Katy, what a beautiful story. Your creativity is astounding. What a wonderful talent to help you along this journey. I realize you already did the draw, but I still wanted to share and to comment on your story. :) I was thinking last night of what reminded me of Julia. When I closed my eyes a pink rose bud appeared. Now I think of how suitable it is; After we had already named her Julia at the hospital I had wished that I had thought of a middle name of "Rose" for her.

  20. What a wonderful story you have written in honor of your sweet Hannah!! I know I am late here and that is okay, but I still wanted to share my "thing" that reminds me of my girls. When we were at the mortuary planning for the girls' funeral we had gone outside to choose their plot. On our way to "babyland" I saw a humming bird flittering amongst some flowers. I instantly thought of my sweet girls. That same day we went to a restaurant and on the way in I saw another humming bird and thought of them again. Now everytime I see one I like to think it is them sending me a little "hello mommy!" xx

  21. Katy, this was just beautiful...just precious.
    Little monkeys are my Matthew reminders...he moved around ALL THE TIME...all my OBs and my MFM doctor/sonographers always commented on how wiggly he was and how much he moved. His bedding in his nursery was called Ahoy! Mate and had the cutest little monkey as part of it. His shower was monkey-themed one.
    I miss my little monkey....

  22. Katy, I sit here with tears streaming down my face as I read your story. You are a very gifted writer, and I agree with the earlier post that it would make a wonderful children's book. I don't think we have any symbol or animal that represents Jesse, though now I'm thinking I should find one! Maybe a frog...the frog is what reminds me of my dad, who passed away 14 years ago. I believe that my dad was there to meet Jesse when he got to heaven. Yes, maybe a frog...