Empty Room, Cookie Cutters & Stones.....

I had a very weepy day yesterday. I felt that hole in my heart so terribly and just longed for my sweet girl. Part of it I think was the empty nesting I was doing. See, when I got pregnant with Bobby my nesting instinct was almost immediate. I am a person of very little patience and get excited very easily. (Ask my husband - he didn't want me buying Bobby's Christmas presents too early in fear I would give them all to him before Christmas!) So naturally I was the same way when I got pregnant with Hannah. By the time I was 3 months pregnant we had Bobby's big boy room complete to allow for 6 months transition time. Well, yesterday I finally cleared all of his stuff out of the nursery and officially moved him in. Now that room looks so empty. I couldn't help thinking that this is exactly what I would have been doing, only I would have Hannah's things to fill that room back up with. I closed the door. Now I wonder if a baby will ever fill it up again.

Something to make you smile, though.....

I'm so proud of him! He is growing up so fast. Actually so many of the things he says and does these days absolutely amazes me. I have told him his little sister Hannah is an angel. So the other day he took the Christmas cookie cutters out of the drawer in the kitchen and started naming them.....heart for the heart, circle for the circle.....Hanni for the angel. It made me smile when he said that. I feel truly blessed because of him.

I have so much to share today; it has been a busy week for me. Wednesday I went to The Children's Memorial Garden to see the stone my mom bought for Hannah. It was finally installed!

I love it. The garden is going to be beautiful in the spring and it will be nice to have a place to go to feel her presence. It really is a peaceful place right on a lake. My childhood best friend has a stone here as well. I met her when I was 2 years old. She lived behind me. She was an only child and I have no sisters. We spent our whole childhoods together. She died of a brain anuerysm 2 days after her 22nd birthday.

That's what I have been up to. A lot of crying these past few days. A lot of missing and a lot of pain. I am thankful for the sufficient grace God offers me each day to continue down this path.