Friday, January 22, 2010

Moving On

Today I realized something. The world has moved on. Everyone I know, in their own ways, has moved on. Some are affected, and maybe even changed, by my daughter's life. Some seem to forget that dark day that left me barren. Seem to forget that I do have a daughter. Forget I am not just a mother of 1.

I don't think I have moved on at all. I have just moved forward. Time has been ushering me forward as I drag my feet in objection. I guess the farther away from that day I get, though, the closer I get too. Closer to holding Hannah again; this time never having to let her go. What a wonderful day that will be-- running to my beautiful daughter awaiting me in Heaven. That thought gives me such peace.

And I know she has changed me. I am not the same person I was before I lost her, though sometimes I really wish I could be. But I know I am a better person now, because of her. I know I will survive this, by the grace of God. I know someday it won't hurt as bad.

I know that short time God blessed me with her is going to mean a lifetime to someone else. Her sweet soul is all around me, teaching me to love. Teaching me to comfort. Teaching me to reach into places I never would have otherwise. She will bless so many people, as she has blessed me.

So those that move on I pray would take a little piece of her with them, too. She could teach us all something.

I love you, Hanni. I miss you so much.


  1. Beautiful words...
    I love your banner. It is so precious.

  2. I remember the day when I realized everyone else had moved on, but me. It was right around the 4 month mark. Your words are beautiful. xo

  3. It's so hard to accept that the rest of the world moves on while we are still so wrapped within our losses. Hugs to you as you move through this...

  4. I can't tell you how much I relate to this post! I feel like the world has moved on too... but I am forever changed.

    Much love to you!


  5. I can relate to what you said here, especially when you said "I don't think I have moved on at all. I have just moved forward." I have taken a piece of your Hannah and all our babies in my heart always.


  6. Lareina shared this post on her blog and I am so glad I found it. This is the comment I left:
    very true. thanks for sharing. there are times when i read a post and think, "i never thought of it that way" and it is cool because it's a neat thought. I feel like each day since chase died is like slipping furhter and furhter away from him. but i like hanna's mom's way of thinking that is is one day closer to holding him in heaven. i like that. i'll take it and keep it with me forever.

    This is a great post. Thank you for sharing it...

  7. Karen,
    Yes indeed the world moves on. Minutes to hours, hours to days, time goes on, regardless of the pain we feel. My daughter died in September as well, only she was 2.5 years old. I remember in the car to the cemetary seeing someone mowing the lawn. I thought to myself, how could anyone dare to mow when I'm burying my baby. And so it continues. Life goes on around us while ours stands still.